Best of 2017
I finally got around to using Instagram in 2017 (I know, I’m way late to the party). So if you’re not already doing so, do me a solid and follow me over there. Ben on Instagram Let’s light this candle!
20. BALLIN’ ON A BUDGET
When you want that new floor, but can’t afford the whole thing! Just throw a rug in the center and you’ll be good to go.
19. AIR FILTER FUN
I had what felt like 5,000 dirty or clogged air filters this year. Guys, just swap them out every couple of months and life is good.
18. OCD OVERLOAD
What savage would do such a thing? Mr. Flipper, that’s who! I would last about a day before tearing this shower out and lining things up the proper way.
17. MILLER LOW LIFE
If you are drinking Miller High Life in a crawlspace, I’m pretty sure you have hit rock bottom. Hard times, man.
16. PAPAW’S HIDDEN STASH
I found Papaw’s hidden stash of beer cans in the attic of the garage. At least he was drinking local.
15. NEW ROOF NEEDED
To be fair, all you needed to do is climb up on the roof and see that the shingles were blown up in sheets on this house. However, you’d be shocked at the number of home inspectors that “inspect” roofs from the ground. This would have been an expensive repair for my buyers had I been such an inspector. You could not see the damaged section until you got up on top.
14. CRAWLSPACE JENGA
This was a 10-year-old house that had some foundation trouble. The seller hired a local “foundation repair company” to correct things. This is what they did to support the main beam. Needless to say, the seller was not happy when the poor repair job was brought to his attention.
13. FLEX SEAL VS DUCT TAPE
Whose side are you on? Will it be Flex Seal or Duct Tape to stop a leaking pipe?
12. SIGNS OF A FLOODED BASEMENT
I’m not saying that people would lie to you about the history of a house just to make you buy it… I’m not saying…I’m just saying. If you suspect the seller (or in this case Mr. Flipper) is being less than honest, pop off the cover to the furnace. You’d be surprised at how many times I find heavy dirty build-up in the base of the cabinet. This can be a sign of past high water.
11. MOLD ON MOLD ON MOLD.
I’ll let you in on a little secret: crawlspaces suck and should be vanquished to the netherworld. This one had mold growing on mold. It was so funky under there I could taste it through my respirator (and I wear the real deal, not some crappy paper mask).
10. PRESENTS FROM RALPH
If you have kept up with my shenanigans over the past 10 years, you know my disdain for crawlspaces. Nothing good ever comes out of them. This one even had a mummified cat in it that my man Ralph brought out for a present. (Shoutout to Ralph Hall-the best termite inspector in Louisville.) I let him keep it though. I’m a nice guy like that.
9. CUSTOM SHOWER HEADS
This place was a poorly executed flip house. Wait. Who am I kidding? Just about every flip house is poorly executed. Check out my post on Flip Houses if you don’t believe me. I found this double shower head exceptionally funny for some reason. I guess it’s the thought that someone believed that this was a great idea that got me.
8. DEATH TRAP TREE HOUSE
Would you let your kids play on this thing? I didn’t even want to walk under it for fear that it may fall on me.
7. BURIED DOWNSPOUT IN THE DRIVEWAY
I had to do a double-take on this one to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. Some lazy “contractor” (and I use that term loosely) re-surfaced this driveway on, you guessed it, a flip house, and didn’t bother to take the elbow off the gutter system. Now all the roof water is being channeled UNDER the driveway.
6. RADON MITIGATION SYSTEM
Radon gas mitigation systems are not something you want to leave to the cheapest bidder. Unfortunately, most people don’t figure this out until I run a test and find out that their already installed system doesn’t work. When you seek cheap labor, you get crap work. This house is one GFCI trip away from the fan not running. And when the fan isn’t running, where do you think that colorless, odorless Radon Gas is going? Would you notice your fan has stopped on the back corner of your house?
5. FAILING DECK FLOOR JOIST
This was a first for me. I’ve seen nails pull back from floor joists, but I’ve never seen all the nails snap off and the floor joists fall out of place like this. My guess is they used the wrong type of nail/screw and the treated wood ate the fastener until it couldn’t hold any longer. This is why we use joist hangers to give the proper support–so that things don’t fail.
4. NASTY TOILET
Fellas, we all know the “rule” that has been bestowed upon us. It’s our job to make sure the seat is in the correct position. But when it comes to this house, I say the women are on their own.
3. MR. FLIPPER’S TILED SHOWER
The mark of a TRUE craftsman is not what he can make, it’s what he can cover-up. This guy clearly has no skill at all when it comes to tiling a shower. That, or he just doesn’t care. Which do you think it is?
2. NEED A BIGGER REFRIGERATOR
They say that kitchens and bathrooms sell houses. The flipper on this house believed in this axiom so much he went out and bought a big fancy fridge. The only problem is he never measured to make sure his shiny appliance would fit. And it didn’t. So he tore out the base of the cabinet to make room for it. You can’t make this stuff up…
1. STUD FINDERS ARE FOR SUCKERS.
“Phsss…. stud finder? I can totally knock on the wall and find a stud just as easy.” – Shady Contractor
26 holes later…..
I want to take this opportunity to again say Thank You to all the folks who put their trust in me for something as important as your home inspection. I know the home buying process is a big deal, and each of you means much more than just another job to me. I am truly humbled by every referral and review you leave me. Thank You!